His Lordship

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I’m Jason L. Secrest, an aspiring author and impoverished college student. Sometimes I blog. When I’m being real about real world things that other people also believe are real I post at wiseyetharmless.bogspot.com. Then there are the moments that I’m also being real, but in regards to a different real world where there is a real annoying talking demon in my basement and where my non-fake butler/valet/gentleman’s-gentleman knows Jujutsu. In those moment’s I’m Jason L. Secrest, Lord of the Manor, and I blog directly to you from my mansion study at whathowadsworth.blogspot.com.

Monday, June 7, 2010

What ho! (That is to say, welcome.)

What ho!

I'm no Englishman, and I have no British accent. However, this is my first blog entry from my study of The Mansion House, and I'm doing my best to do my part as the Lord of the Manor. Hence the "What ho." That's what a youthful, with the times, and jovial estate owner would say, right?

I employ a valet names Wadsworth who also doubles as my butler. He's a real gentleman's gentleman. Besides that he has a natural aptitude for everything. I also keep a man at arms around, Captain Cole. He used to be a captain in an imperial army, but now he rally's the troops around here. At least, I think that's what he does. If the truth be told, I haven't seen any troops here besides him.

Unfortunately, there is a tenant living in the basement - a demon named Beezle. He's flippant, evil, and unruly. He also has a morbid sense of humor. I think that's why the place was so cheep. The last owner of The Mansion House, Lord Goldermint, couldn't figure out how to evict the demon. His pocket book overfloweth, so his solution was to practically give the house away (fully furnished, might I add) and move to a penthouse flat somewhere with lots of sun and beaches. For the kind of deal he was offering, I thought I could put up with a resident bastion of evil.

Beezle's not so bad, actually. Generally he keeps to himself unless he's bored (which is most of the time). When he does manifest himself, it's through obnoxious and/or amusing magical antics or annoying comments through the ventilation system. He won't admit it, but I think he got himself trapped down there, and now he can't get out. Otherwise, he'd be off somewhere in the world eating human scarifies and making goats explode. Whether that's true or not, he makes for interesting company.

There are others who stop by occasionally. Inspector Fibs, a large bear named Duncan, a witch, and several others tend to visit occasionally. Even Death drops by for brunch every now and again. I think it's because he's in love with Wadsworth's rolls.

Finally there's me. I'm Jason Secrest. As the Lord of the Manor I'm going by J. L. Secrest. It sounds more official. I'm a poor college student who aspires to one day be a full time author. My major has nothing to do with writing, but that's just the way I roll. I take inspiration for my writing from my employees and resident demon and I even use their names for my characters. Beezle wants a cut of the royalties. He doesn't grasp the fact that I've got to get published first. Besides that, if his name ever does bring in royalties, I feel comfortable considering it his rent. I haven't told him that yet though.

Well, that's the gang. Feel free to drop by and read about life at The Mansion House. If I'm not a dweeb I'll update regularly. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll be able to snag a page out of Wadsworth's journal and post it. I assure you that what he has to say makes much more interesting reading than anything I can come up with.

-J.L.Secrest

*EDIT:

I thought I'd better make this change here rather than in the comments section, lest a reader miss it, or think I'm joking. There is, of a truth, a "dumpster out back, which contains, amid the leftover light refreshments and old suits, a young boy." I'm not sure how I neglected to mention this. Perhaps it was for fear that the police might take exception to me keeping a young boy in my dumpster in the back. Whatever the case, he is there, his name is Will, and he can be a whiny royal pain. Duncan can attest to this. Do not fear for him, he enjoys the light refreshments very much, and when his cloths get old he wears the suits. He also never has to clean his room. The garbage man takes care of that once a week. His is a sheltered life, yet a good one.

5 comments:

Nathan Major said...

You forgot to mention the dumpster out back, which contains, amid the leftover light refreshments and old suits, a young boy.

James said...

May I ask, Mr. Lord of the Manor, how I was not informed about your current residence until I was alerted by a friend in common? I'm saddened, but the stories at the Mansion House will ease my pain.

Schlange A. Taube said...

Wow James. Word spreads fast. I'm glad you were able to find the place. I was going to post an address on wise yet harmless, but you beat me to it. I'm always glad to have you as a guest, but mind the air vents. They get feisty.

By the way, a little bird named Nathan told me you're joining the contest. You'd better or you'll be sharing light refreshments with will instead of with those of us who are civilized.

Derek Bown said...

By civilized you mean those of us that you didn't actually tell about this new blog?

But yeah, this has easily been your best idea, and I mean that in a nice way. :P Keep it up and I think this could get really popular. I don't know many blogs that have fictional entries and actually have something of a story going for them. I could see this getting pretty popular. And it seems like a good platform for your writing.

Jason L Secrest said...

Thanks Derek. I appreciate the encouragement, but if you could be careful about that f word...

*Whispering:* Beezle doesn't know he's not real. You might hurt his feelings, and then he'll have to cry on my shoulder when I should be writing.